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2006 -
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| HAUNTED ATTRACTION | RATING | REVIEW | ||||||||||||
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9½ | DEAD ACRES:
Rated the ninth best haunted attraction in the country by Hauntworld magazine,
Dead
Acres simply must be seen to be believed! Flames shoot out of
the tops of giant silos as you wait to enter the most impressive haunted
attraction in our area. Once inside, you immediately find yourself
at the mercy of an enormous monster, that springs forth through double
wooden doors, that weren't capable of restraining him! Haunted coffins,
shake under their own power up ahead, their lids partially opening over
and over again. You just know something is desperately seeking to
escape, you just don't know what! Careful! You just might fing
out! From here on, startles are intense, and basically non-stop.
A large serpent comes to life right before your very eyes, spraying a mist
from its mouth, and an huge inverted bat begins to move its wings after
you disturb the slumber of its sleep. Many more similarly animated
monsters are still to come, just waiting to wreck their havoc on all who
enter the haunt formerly known as The Haunted Hoochie. Highly
energetic characters take every advantage of the numerous distractions
provided by their mechanical counterparts, grabbing at you from the rafters
overhead, and behind panels in the walls. The unrestful bunch jump
out of the darkness blocking your path and refuse to let you pass until
they're good and ready! Hallways appear to be engulfed in flames
as you continue to make your way through. The first of two entrapments
is forthcoming, where the path ahead is closed off, and you're sequestered
in a darkened area, before a caged clown. Suddenly, blinding strobes
begin to quickly flash on and off making it even more difficult to see,
and a booming voice begins to interact with the group - that of a
blade waving lunatic who delivers an alarming surprise before releasing
you to the caskets, skeletons, and evil clowns that lie ahead. You
witness a bathroom scene, where a girl hopelessly seeks to avoid her attacker,
leading to an incredible encounter with the headless horseman! Outside,
a large fiend loudly clangs the iron blades of his weapons together, and
you just know he plans to use them on you! The cellar to hellar offers
an ax wielding madman, and a dark maze that must be transversed in order
to escape, but you're still not safe! Sparks and chainsaws await
your emergence from the maze. Dinner tables rattle, and more surprises
materialize from underneath beds, and beneath a ladies dress! You
accidentally disturb a mad nurse who readily turns her evil intentions
on you! More attacks descend upon you in the form of a rabid dog,
a near miss with a hit and run bus, and a spinning vortex all leading to
second entrapment featuring a victim hanged by chains, and a horrific surprise
before exiting into a cage maze, and your eventual salvation Dead Acres!
Analysis:
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9½ | THE HAUNTED HOTEL:
No vacancies as usual at this demented depot! Non-stop action is
the rule as the adventure gets underway in a rickety, old elevator.
A pig-faced attendant, having barbed wire, and a noose around his neck
selects your floor, and the elevetor begins thrashing about violently,
while the lights on the panel board flicker off and on. Suddenly,
a power failure brings it to a screeching hault leaving you in complete
darkness, before "dropping" you to the bottom floor. Off the elevator,
the journey continues through blood-splattered rooms, where skeletons and
other monsters are propelled at you from all directions! A bloody
girl in a bed gives way to a shocking surprise, and another comes your
way courtesy of a drop-down panel in a wall. Attackers are armed
with shovels and chainsaws. A distant cry for help reveals a girl
strapped to a chair. Abruptly, her captor appears maniacally threatening,
"Shut up, or I'll KILL you!" Skeletons and body parts lie ahead,
and a poor, tortured soul has his head ripped from his body by some sort
of contraption. Up the stairs, walls are covered with bloody handprints,
as "Rock-a-bye baby" succumbs to heavy metal, and the floors begin to shake
beneath your feet! Cupboards open and close on their own, sparks
fly, strobes flash, blood squirts from lifeless bodies, and shocking sounds
accompany close encounters with animated objects! Gas mask wearing
fiends and chainsaw packing lunatics chase you to a staircase that leads
out of the Hotel, into a spinning vortex that serves up a startling
surprise, before exiting into a fog-filled maze. A prisoner shakes
the bars of his jail cell in desperation, coinciding with the sounding
of a deafening alarm as the life of another convict is snuffed out in a
cloud of smoke from the voltage in an electric chair! Then, the maze
resumes, yielding to a multiple chain saw chase-out.
Analysis:
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9½ | BAXTER AVENUE
MORGUE: The macabre adventure begins with the unnerving
seclusion of your group in a quiet funeral parlor, where pallbearers guard
a closed casket at a wake service. Soon, you enter The Morgue,
through a spooky iron door, and are greeted by the mortician, Warren Vanderdark
who releases you into a dark maze. Unsettling music and ceremonial
chanting accompany the venture through realistic body bags, hospital gurneys,
and a disturbing kitchen scene where an insane butcher slaughters a victim
he was preserving in a refrigerator. The soft melody of a music box
sets an eerie tone for a solumn encounter with a little girl (Diedra) and
her doll. Death is omnipotent as you make your way through various
scenes of coffins, body vaults that open and close of their own volition,
a vampiress springing forth from her upright wooden casket, the ghost apparition
of a surgeon operating on a distressed patient, and a cemetery inhabited
by distraught souls held captive against their will, and destined to fall
prey to the undead zombies that roam the grounds. A cute girl innocently
admiring herself in a mirror turns into a shocking surprise, as does a
gravedigger, whose shovel suddenly becomes electrified! Even spiderboy
(a ghoul who emerges from overhead, and slides back and forth along a very
low ceiling) gets in on the act, offering an unexpected surprise
of his own, prior to a chainsaw chase-out.
Analysis:
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9+ |  OHIO
STATE REFORMATORY HAUNTED PRISON: This may be the most
intimidating haunt around, based on appearance alone. A vampire
hunter's kit and a demon
hunter's exorcist kit are on display in the
spooky old foyer where you wait to enter The Reformatory.
Pay attention, as these items could become vital later in your journey!
Up a rickety old staircase where paint is peeling off the walls begins
the GHOSTMANIA REVOLUTION adventure.
Abandoned offices offer plenty of hiding places for the crazed ghouls that
now reside at the former
Prison. Animatronic skeletons and
other mechanical monsters pop up out of desks, spring forward out of walls,
and rise up from a variety of other obscure locations throughout the institution.
Perfect, and LOUD sound effects and background music accompany your each
and every move along the route. Oxidized iron jail cells and doors are
an amazing sight, and just adds to structures authenticity. Intense
characters lurk in the darkness, bolt across your path from one side of
the hallway to the other, and painstakingly crawl at you on the floor begging
for help! Warning sirens and screams enhance the experience.
Deafening alerts shriek simultaneously in accordance with skulls leaping
through the tops of barrels. A rabid dog ferociously attacks as you
work your way back to a steel staircase that leads downstairs to an area
inhabited by ghosts, then an execution chamber where an inmate suffers
the fate of an electric chair. Strobes, sparks, caskets, strange
noises and the most unnerving music you'll ever hear contribute to this
transcendental exploitation of one's nerves, conjuring up your deepest
fears. A short dark maze contains a suspenseful surprise from a ghoul
so completely concealed in the lightlessness, that I never did see her!
Progressing on, through solitary confinement, more shadows and darkness
introduce additional startles as your anxiety continues to mount.
Up ahead lies a fork in the road. Demons or Vampires? Choose
your poison. Those hunter's kits displayed earlier in the queue line sure
would come in handy now! Depending on your chosen path, numerous
horned demonic creatures, or supernatural vampires stalk, and aggressively
pursue you while proceeding down a darkened cellblock, that features stories
of incarceration chambers stacked one upon the other. "VAMPIRES!,
a voice repeatedly warns from behind, the reverberations of which echo
off the seemingly endless ceiling above. A bizarre looking dragon
hovers above a mysterious pit as you finally come to another stairway that
leads up and out of the penitentiary area, and eventually to a chainsaw
chase-out.
Analysis:
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9 |  USS
NIGHTMARE: A skeleton ticket taker waits just inside
the haunted boat. Signature characters like Capt. Mitchell, his evil
twin, and Rat Girl are back, and anxious to cast their own brands of fear
into all who dare to enter The Nightmare. A secret wall panel
drops down freeing a large, hoooded skeleton that lunges out at you, as
clasps of thunder ring through the ancient ship. An innocent glimpse
of a sleeping Impaler (13 foot tall aimated, growling monster) turns wicked,
as it soon springs to life before your very eyes, madly waving a spear
in one hand, and dangling what's left of a recent victim's body in the
other. Many areas in the bowels of the ship are explored including
the infirmary, boiler room, torture chamber, and for the first time ever,
the mysterious cargo hold. Popular villains include the crazed infirmary
doctor, Captain's daughter Anna, and an Exterminator spraying some foggy
mist in a hopeless attempt to kill rats aboard the wrecked steamboat.
Spooky music and eerie sounds lead to encounters with intense actors crawling
on the floors, dangling from the rafters, and lurking in the darkness just
waiting for the right opportunity to make their presence known. A
warning siren sounds as you "choose your fate" by selecting one of two
paths that eventually lead to a prisoner spinning about wildly on an upright
table. Convicts are tortured, put to death in an electric chair,
and even hanged. One body is seen roasting over a coal fire!
Crates, chains, body bags, and spider webs are part of the ship's decor.
Skeletons pop out of coffins, and crazed crewmen bang loudly on the ships
hull. One character wears a welding hood, and another a miner's helmet.
Gratings are transversed as you cross over the muddy waters of the mighty
Ohio River while making your way between levels of the vessel formerly
known as the William S. Mitchell. A freakish meeting with
Count Dracula and his bride chill you to the bone, while a mad, bloody
butcher threatens to "cut you up and feed you to the captain," and a deranged
chef serves up generous helpings of human intestines. Mummies, coffins,
hazardous waste, fog filled, dark mazes, and a spinning vortex with a well-hidden
ghoul occupy other areas of the dilapidated old craft, leading to a clown
ball room, jungle scene, and a sliding panel offering up a mechanical startle
that serves as a distraction for a surprise chainsaw chase-out of the haunted
USS
Nightmare.
Analysis:
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| NR | PICKLE BROTHERS FREAK SHOW: This added attraction outside USS Nightmare showcases strange occurrences in the animal world, and an exhibition of rarities including sword swallowers, weapon juggling, people lying on a bed of nails, and a human being driving a nail into his nose! Cost is $6, or $5 in combination with USS NIGHTMARE. | |||||||||||||
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9 | WAVERLY HILLS SANATORIUM:
The 2006 installment is titled "Asylum of the Dead." Built in the
1920's to house tuberculosis patients, The Sanatorium is purported
to be among the 10 most legitimately haunted places in the world!
A realistically intimidating Michael Myers stalks the grounds and queue
line prior to your entering the foyer. A huge surprise occurs during
your introduction to the facility in the form of an abduction. The
Waverly
Hills experience begins with visits to various physicians including
Dr. Noe's laboratory, and Dr. Madison who gets his throat slit!
Clasps of thunder and flashes of lightning accompany your progression through
the old hospital, and the lights flicker on and off, teasing you with glimpses
of the terrors that lie ahead. Cadavers are torn in two by a menacing
saw, and possessed girls carry evil, fanged babies. Abundant darkness
characterizes the hallways that lead to settings like the rubber room,
home to a psychotic prisoner who manages to break free of his chains and
torment your group! Other scenes include a priest guarding the coffin
at a wake service, sparks flying from an electro-shock therapy patient,
and a fast spinning vortex that leaves you dizzy for a cemetery chainsaw
chase-out.
Analysis:
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9 |  GHOSTLY
MANOR: Ghostly Manor is not a place for the timid
or faint of heart. From the moment you first set foot inside this
high-startle complex, there's not one safe place where you're free from
poltergeists, ghouls, skeletons, and other monsters sneaking up on you
from behind, or leaping forth from innocent looking objects and spaces.
Frightening music welcomes you inside, where "Fluffy" the dog naps quietly
in his doghouse - or does he? Shutters bang loudly, cabinets and
doors open and close on their own, and monsters spring to life from everywhere!
Even the walls are alive!! This place IS haunted!!! Harmless
pictures and panels give way to surprises. Unnerving laughter, blood-curdling
screams, coffins, body bags, and numerous skeletons are encountered on
your trek through the dimly lit rooms and foggy corridors. For a brief
second, the den offers a moment of solitude, but things aren't always what
they appear to be in this dusty old house, and the desk suddenly yields
to yet another shocking encounter! A gas mask wearing fiend, and
various other inhabitants of the Manor stalk your every move! One
offers an invitation to join the skeletal remains of a family seated at
their dining room table, and an enormous caged impaler prepares to devour
some victims of his own, as he dangles their lifeless bodies above whats
left of the bones of those that preceded them. Gigantic bats hang
from the ceilings, suspending themselves above coffins containing the corpses
of the recently deceased. Animated skeletons cover the walls of a
tight, secluded hallway, reaching out and grabbing at you inhibiting your
progress. Jailed maniacs seek desperately to escape their incarceration,
before they meet the same fate as of one of their comrades, whose body
convulses to its death of capital punishment from the voltage supplied
in the electric chair. And Pinhead guards the only escape from the
evil spirits who reside inside
Ghostly Manor!
Analysis:
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| NR | XD 3D: XD 3D is a reastically vivid roller coaster simulator attraction similar to what one might expect to find at an amusement park. Patrons are seated at a large projection screen in one of 8 "simulators" which, move around a bit to create the effect of riding an actual coaster. Special 3D glasses are worn to bring the entire video experience to life. "Haunted Mine" is one of three themed options available to choose from. Hold on tight, as your mine car rides the rails through the ancient gold mine! Beware of bats, ghost apparitions, huge boulders speeding down the tracks that might impact the mine car, and other obstacles that are encountered along the journey. XD 3D is fun and entertaining, but not a "haunt" per se, and therefore has not been rated in this review. Be sure and check it out when visiting Ghostly Manor. | |||||||||||||
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9 |  THE
HAUNTED HOUSE: Cincinnati's Frightful Favorite has a
complete makeover for 2006. The old schoolhouse is quite an intimidating
sight. A flickering light in an upstairs window sheds just enough
ambience to reveal a gargoyle-like creature peering out at the yard below.
A school bus accompanies the queue line, warning lights flashing, and packed
with crazed kids, and a mad bus driver, who strictly disciplines the unruly
students. A walk through a foggy, eerie graveyard leads back to a
second encounter with the bus, and into the front door of The Haunted
House, where the school principal lays down the law to all who enter.
A succession of appropriately themed rooms lies ahead, including classrooms,
the science lab, library, detention hall, and first aid station, home to
a syringe wielding nurse, and a patient convulsing in pain from the medical
scissors attatched to his head! Numerous scares from intense acting,
and abundant animatronics accompany the well-detailed rooms. Pots
and pans shake and rattle about of their own volition in the haunted kitchen,
which of course serves up a smorgasbord of body parts! Downstairs,
the boiler and maintenance rooms are explored, each offering their own
brand of fear. The cellar of the old building also houses the psycho
ward, where mentally insane lunatics are restrained by straightjackets,
and one fries in an electric chair! Mummies, werewolves, roaches, evil
clowns, a spinning vortex, a chained coffin, whose undead corpse struggles
to escape, and the ever present janitor must all be survived in order to
escape The Haunted House.
Analysis:
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9 |  FRIGHT
MANOR: The queue line winds through a spooky cemetery
before a creepy confrontation with a little girl and her dolly initiate
you into Fright Manor. Darkness, scary, intimidating
music, and loud sound effects begin the assault on your emotions.
An electricution scene, where a convict convulses in pain, gives way to
an attack by a maniacle madman armed with a power saw! Floating skeletons,
an evil witch stirring the concoction brewing in her cauldren, and mechanical
surprises wait in a room where even the ground is alive, evidenced by the
earth moving on its own as if something buried beneath it is trying to
escape! Fantastic effect! Characters come from everywhere -
behind coffins, barrels, and other dark, secluded locations. A werewolf,
devouring its latest victim, interracts with you for a time, before serving
up a huge surprise! Animatronical scenes, like a caged skeletal convict
sit quietly in the dark, then suddenly illuminate, and spring into action
as you approach, this one in particular feverishly rattling the bars of
his jail cell attempting to break free! Bats haning from a ceiling,
skulls, screams, and loud, intense music give rise to haunting red eyes
down a blackened corridor that unexpectedly deliver an immediate surprise
of their own leading to a clown room featuring House of 1000 corpses
Captian Spaulding, and offering a unique, tightly cramped crawl-out,
but you're not in the clear yet, as Grinner attacks with his favorite
weapon of choice, a barbed-wire covered baseball bat, prior to an eerie
encounter with an evil girl that has a black cross painted on her forehead!
Onward, where a viciously barking, rabid dog impedes your progress, a head
roasts over an open fire, and stacked barrels hide a major surprise!
Michael Myers, an evil dentist (Dr. Cadaver), and a hostage restrained
with noisy, retractable chains are yet to come, as some sort of warning
siren loudly blasts an alert, on your way to a laboratory, then an overwhelming
surprise from a vibrating floor! Rob's casket company yields to a
prison scene, where one of the inmates intimidatingly demands a roommate,
and you won't like or believe what happens next! Sparks, spiders,
a mad doctor, Wolfie's funeral parlor, high voltage areas, and an execution
chamber offering a guillotine and mini "Electric Man" are still to come,
as you progress to a confusing maze and intense, multiple chain-saw chase
out! Don't say they didn't warn you, as an earlier sign cautioned
against trespassing, reading "Violators will be buried alive!"
Analysis:
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9 | FEAR FAIR:
The queue line begins with a walk through the old western ghost town of
Rockford, original population 368, but that's been crossed out in blood,
and reduced to 17! Winding past the General Store, Richard Funeral
Home, a spooky old water tower, and climbing wooden plank board steps and
walkways, you eventually arrive at the entrance to Fear Fair.
House rules are read inside The Winscott Saloon, decorated with an old
player piano, and spiderweb covered bottles of booze. Entering the
Sheriff's Office, a jailed prisoner escapes his confinement, and charges
after you, then around the bend it's into the funeral home, where corpses
are propelled forward out of their upright coffins. Onto the gallows,
where a horse thief convulses in agony from the noose around his neck,
choking the life right out of him! Dredging through the wetlands
leads to an attack by a swampmonster, and a walk across an old wooden bridge
that has a surprise in store for you! A scary looking cemetery delivers
an intense blast of air, and another surprise from a monster in a casket..
One area of the graveyard is occupied by a mausoleum, where a winged vampire
suddenly descends from above, landing on one of the tombs! The VONDEE
Theater is visited during the Horror Movie Madness presentation
of a Halloween marathon. The cinema yields to a realistic
house facade. Entering through the front door, and into a kitchen
presents an up close and personal confrontation with Michael Myers, who
unexpectedly emerges from a secret panel concealed behind a corner cupboard,
that moves aside on its own exposing the killer's hiding place! Various
other horror film scenes are visited including, Frankenstein; Scream;
a cabin at Friday the 13th's Camp Crystal Lake offering a horrifying
encounter with Jason Voorhees; Hellraiser, where Pinhead lurks
amongst the suspended chains, Nightmare on Elm Street, having original
street signs, Freddy's face materializing through the wall, and an authentic
looking smoking furnace that actually gives off heat; and an amazingly
shocking surprise from The Entity, complete with impressive electrical
arcs radiating toward you from the output of a Tesla coil!!! A cornfield
is home to Earl's outhouse, customized with the traditional crescent moon-shaped
cut-out, then it's onto Bubba's Barn that serves up a gruesome meal, and
a liquid surprise, that gives way to a chainsaw chase-out!
Analysis:
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9 | BUFORD HAUNTED
SCHOOL: WARNING: This is not your typical
haunted house! You will be pushed and touched at The
Haunted School, and if that makes you uncomfortable, then you shoulndn't
enter.
A new enterance is on tap for '06 and it's readily apparent that this is more than your everyday haunted house. Monsters blast you with air guns before sending you through a door and into The Haunted School itself. Pinhead makes sure you're on the correct path, as chainsaw packing fiends chase you into the school, pushing and shoving you toward a staircase. Ascending the steps, you meet up with Ivanna Die, the Buford Nurse Supervisor mumbling to herself from the comfort of a wheelchair that rests dangerously close to the top step. A girl with her wrist slit, a convulsing electro-shock victim, a gas mask wearing character, and a girl in a straight jacket pursue you, relentlessly seeking your help. Deafening sirens blare as numerous ghouls grab at you from all directions, as you make your way through the tight, narrow corridors. Frantic girls clutch onto you begging you to stay, or at least take them with you. Coffins, sparks, a room with a hidden exit, bats, witches, werewolfves, and devious clowns are all encountered inside The Haunted School. Caged villians, and a girl with her rib cage exposed where the flesh has been eaten away scream desperately for assistance, as you make your way through a dark cage maze and onto a chain-saw chase out. Analysis:
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9 | THE HAUNTED CAVE
AT LEWISBURG: A hundred feet beneath the ground, in an
abandoned limestone mine lies one of the creepiest haunts around.
An old wooden bridge-like walkway leads you deep into the cave where a
sudden surprise emerges from the surrounding waters. Coffins, flames,
sparks, gunshots, and a loud revving engine, are just some of the unnerving
elements that play on your senses during your visit to this underground
cavern. One member of the group must participate in a creepy ceremony
- placing flowers on an unmarked grave, that terminates with another surprise.
The tour guide meets an unexpected fate, leading up to an awesome encounter
with The Devil that offers several potential
escape routes. One leads to a successful getaway, but others dump
you right back into Satan's abode, and he sits there glaring at you, and
wickedly laughing at your inability to free yourself from his presence!
Wire mazes, fog, and strobes confuse and intimidate the bravest of souls,
who must endure a spinning vortex, multiple chainsaws, and a few other
surprises that might overrun their emotions while desperately seeking the
only way out of The Haunted Cave.
Analysis:
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9 | SPOOK COOP:
Outside The Haunted Spook Coop lies a great hidden surprise that
not all patrons will get to experience. Hope you're one of the lucky
ones! Once inside the foyer of the Coop, the house rules are
read, and the journey into fear begins in a tight, blindingly dark maze.
Uneven floors add to its difficulty. Beyond the maze, one finds ghouls
behind bars shooting sparks off the metal! Beware, for there's no
warning before the sparks begin to fly! Other scenes include a creepy
cemetery where many undead creatures lurk to terrorize you, as one warns
of your impending death! Numerous animatronics move in all directions,
popping out at passersby. Navigation through hanging body bags is
mandated, along with a surprise in a room lined with glow in the dark masks,
and a zombie looking bride offering a black rose. You'll see The
Ring girl climbing out of a well, a Pig faced fiend with bloody knives
and evil intentions, and a prison room where a crazed convict breaks free,
forcing a nun and a priest into electric chairs, then turns on the juice!
Killer Clowns await as you enter their playroom of plastic balls and spongy
floors, and a large skull with red, glowing eyes stares you down as you
voyage through a spinning vortex and escape The Haunted Spook Coop.
Analysis:
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8½ | THE CHAMBERS
OF HORROR (Middletown, OH): Scary background music makes
you antsy while waiting to enter The Chambers of Horror. A
Ghoul butler eventually leads you through the double doors where tickets
are purchased from a seller dressed in full costume! Nice touch!
Then, it's onto the queue line where the butler stands motionless in the
corner allowing that wonderful music to work its magic of unnerving the
unsuspecting. Suddenly, he springs to life, barking out instructions,
and rules of the house! One member of our group nearly jumped out
of her skin the instant he began pacing and speaking, not realizing until
that moment that he was a real person! Fantastic acting! When
he's done, the journey into
The Chambers gets underway with a walk
through the "Dead End Cemetery" where caskets, and tombstones are the rule,
and the undead rise from gravesites! (This is a new beginning from
previous years!) Uneven floors and dim lighting add to the intensity
of the corridors, which are booby trapped with many dead ends, and false
exits! Soon, a room with several doors is encountered. Most
of the doors don't open, or have surprises waiting on the other side.
There's only one way out, but it might not be easy to find! And,
it doesn't get any easier, as walls and ceilings are out to get you!
There's a coffin to walk through, and mad butchers who have plans for you
in their kitchen! Numerous dead ends, locked doors, and entrapments
are encountered as your emotions begin to get the best of you. An
elevator takes you to "Hell" and a bloody head resting on a table is still
ALIVE! A hallway with a descending ceiling forces you to crawl your
way out, and many masked monsters including Michael Myers and Freddie Krueger
inhibit your passage through the 28 Chambers.
Analysis:
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8½ | THE HAUNTED
FIREHOUSE: Mysterious music welcomes your entrance into
the Lockington, Haunted Firehouse. A tragic farm accident
scene is encountered, where a farmer has been victimized by his own plow.
A beheaded body violently bleeds from the sight of its severed head, alongside
another monster clutching the poor soul's noggin in its hand! Onto
a cornfield inhabited by evil scarecrows that leap off their crosses to
startle and attack you! The cornstalks lead into a cemetery that
delivers a major surprise from one of the gravesites! Red lights
flash and warning sirens sound as you progress into radioactive and laboratory
areas occupied by the skeleton of a man recently put to death in an electric
chair. Medical cell 101 contains an enormous rat-headed creature
desperately trying to grab at you to the soundtrack of The Smashing
Pumpkins, Bullit With Butterfly Wings! Despite all his rage,
he's still just a rat in a cage! Darkness, rocking passageways, and
gimmicked doors inhibit your progression eventually leading to a duck down
panel, and a creepy staircase. Ascending to the upstairs level, wind
gusts through an open window, as you make your way into an office where
a corpse, collapsed on his desk, brings about another shocking surprise!
Tight, uneven walkways deliver you into a casket room, where a cabinet
shakes on it's own, then onto the first of two slides, followed by a dark,
intimidating crawl maze that exits onto another slide, and a darkened room
that illuminates with a final surprise, courtesy of a car crash scene,
and a chainsaw chase-out of The Lockington Haunted Firehouse!
Analysis:
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8½ | CULBERTSON
MANSION LITERALLY A HAUNTED HOUSE: Built in the 1800's,
the Culbertson carriage house is where this haunt begins!
Up a rusty, old iron staircase and into a séance room, the group
forms a circle, stands on symbols painted on the floor, and joins hands
while a creepy medium conducts a ceremony attempting to contact the spirit
of Wendy Culbertson. But somehow, this mysterious venture into the
occult goes terribly wrong, and the paranormal ritual instead conjures
up an evil spirit instead of Wendy. Follow the light to make your
escape, and enter into a corridor where you hear screams of "help me, help
me"! A girl cowering in the fetal position hides by a sink, shaking
vehemently as we enter into a blood splattered bathroom! A surprise
awaits behind the sliding shower door! A severed head comes rolling
down the hallway at us as we continue into a room of flesh eating zombies
looking for food! Bloody nurses wearing surgical masks await in the next
room, followed by a crazy drill waving dentist in search of his next patient!
Check out his most recent victim still seated in the chair! Progressing
up stairs to the attic, you encounter spiderwebs, bats, coffins and a variety
of deranged ghouls before escaping down into
the cellar where roaches and dispicable monsters await. A large,
open coffin lies ahead! Is it yours? The surprise of
the year awaits!!
Analysis:
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8½ | HUSTEAD HOUSE
OF HORROR: With its boarded up windows, the haunted house
itself is quite an impressive sight. The adventure begins in a dark
foyer, where groups are momentarily seated, and read a brief history of
the premises. The story of the Emmett Kelly (a renowned clown) family
is recounted, and you learn of the suspicious disappearance of their neighbors.
Following instructions, and a SURPRISE, you're sent into the uproarous
atmosphere that continues for the duration of the experience. Loud,
relentless pounding on the walls accompanies the introduction. Upon
entering, a re-enactment of the story you just heard leads to a bloody
bathroom scene, then onto the first of many maniacal clowns, all of whom
wickedly laugh at you, taunt you, and mislead you through the rooms, into
mazes, and up and down stairs. One of the evil jokesters threatens
a screaming girl with a loudly revving chainsaw. The others are preoccupied
with trailing you every step of the way, and making fun of the mistakes
you make encountering dead ends, darkness, and fog. At one point,
a twisting slide is the only method of navigating from an upstairs floor
to the one beneath, all the while being teased and tormented by overwhelmingly
loud carnival music, noises, laughter, screams, and the persistence of
this entourage of sideshow lunatics. Eventually, you progress to
three doors all marked "exit," but refusing to budge! You're trapped,
until one of the clowns kicks open one of the doors finally allowing you
to leave the Hustead House of Horror.
Analysis:
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8½ | INDUSTRIAL
NIGHTMARE: A short dark maze leads to the queue line
decorated with authentic scenes from various horror movies, featuring realistic
likenesses of Freddy Kruegger, Jason Voorhees, Frankenstein, etc.
Dracula's red eyes illuminate signaling your imminent entrance through
the double doors, and into Industrial Nightmare. Welcome to
the laboratory, where an array of different experiments are underway.
Scientific gadgets are everywhere, and Frankenstein thrashes about wildly
on a table, then delivers a startling surprise! A corpses spits blood,
and bathroom stall doors sequentially slam shut on their own, as you continue
to explore Industrial Nightmare. One of the stalls (take note
of its occupant!) features some sort of malfunction - a plumbing
problem that you'll surely discover while passing by!
Overhead pipes dangerously leak toxic waste into a cistern below, and a see-thru walk bridge is the only escape possible, and it offers a startling surprise of its own as you attempt to cross! Ambulance medics tend to distraught workers, while, animated mutant monsters, and other frenzied characters, tormented by their own entrapment, inhibit your escape from this living Hell! Some wear gas masks in desperating attempts to avoid the toxic fumes and prolong their lives! Loud, frightening noises and banging is everywhere. Barbed wire and tipping barrels that glow in the dark from deadly radiation must be avoided at all costs. A horriffic kitchen serves up pizza topped with eyeballs and roaches, while spiked ceilings fall down, and walls, sporting the crushed remains of others that preceded you, close in on you from both sides as the factory begins to collapse from this devestating accident! Are you next, or will you rescue yourself, and make it out alive from the hazards of this Industrial Nightmare? The emergency exit is near, and one lucky soul, washes the remnants of waste from their body in a teasing shower scene. Walking around the corner reveals all! Will you be as fortunate as they were and escape to the safety of the outdoors, or does The Industrial Nightmare have yet another obstacle standing in your way? Analysis:
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| 7 |  DEMENTIONS:
Included with paid admission to Industrial Nightmare, which exits
into Dementions. A spinning vortex welcomes you inside.
Eerie music, sets the stage for a trip into this DEMENTED dungeon.
Abominable scenes include a kitchen where the cook fries body parts, a
deranged celebration of the holidays featuring a maniacal Santa, and bloody
Rudolph, and a sexy shower scene packing a horrific surprise! Evil
clowns, and other mad lunatics reside in these chambers, along with reptile-like
monsters. Body bags, and a vast array of moving skeletons, etc. provide
additonal startles as you navigate the dimly lit corridors leading to a
multiple chainsaw chase-out.
Analysis:
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| 9 | PITCH BLACK:
A totally dark maze containing numerous dead ends, and brand new surprises
I've been asked not to reveal!!! Go see it for yourself!
Final Score: 9, Bypassing the usual rating criteria in order to protect the secrets that have been added here. Take my word for it, this is a highly intense, fear inducing attraction, featuring a first of it's kind innovation so surprising, you won't believe it's really happening!!! Your emotions will be exploited to the point of near panic! Pay a visit to Pitch Black! reviewed 9/30/06 |
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8½ | WILMINGTON HAUNTED
HOLLOW RIDE: Gravedigger, Widowmaker, or Undertaker,
buses that have the tops and sides cut away, provide the transportation
into The Hollow. The bus speeds wrecklessly around a curve,
and down a hill, passing some bloody, insane characters, and the first
of many chainsaws. Ghosts aimlessly roam through a spooky cemetery,
as you encounter Dr. Satan, witches, scarecrows, Michael Myers, and more
of those relentless chainsaws, wildly attacking the bus from both sides
and even overhead! Some board the vehicle momentarily to provide
even more intense scares. Sparks fly from the power tools of maniacal
laborers feverishly working on the top half of one of the buses suspended
10' in the air, as you drive underneath! Flame throwers, burning
bulldozers, and powerfully revving semis, belching fire from their exhausts,
aggressively pursue the ride, bumping into you, and attempting to run you
off the road while chasing you past a large animated dragon and out of
the Wilmington Haunted Hollow.
Analysis:
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8½ | NIGHTMARE ON
VALLEY STREET: An upgraded Valley Street awaits
this year, sporting a new entrance, exit, and polished scenes
and acting. Strobe lights and excellent scary music unnerve you as
you begin the trail. Relentless chainsaw madmen immediately initiate
you into their Nightmare. Ghosts inhabit the trees, and intense
ghouls are everywhere, coming out of the darkness, behind trees, under
wrecked cars, and one in particular who provides a scare of the year contender
that we're not going to tell, but you simply will NOT believe! Cemeteries,
bats, clowns, more chainsaws, and a car launched up into a tree as a result
of a horrific crash are all part of the new and improved Valley Street
experience. Pinhead and Michael Myers take up residence here, as
well as various other creatures who do everything from scream and shout,
to emitting sparks, all leading up to a double surprise chase-out!
Analysis:
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8½ |  THE
MIDDLETOWN HAUNTED TRAIL: The trail's nearly a mile long.
Scary background music sets the perfect mood as you begin your dark journey
into the woods to a confrontation with a witch, who leaves her bubbling
cauldron long enough to investigate and torment we who have invaded her
territory. Continuing on, a mist of creek water sprays up as you
cross a bridge, a car suddenly appears out of the shadows blasting it's
horn, and irate hillbillies leave their shack, threatening the trespassers
on their property. Scenes include Jack in the Box which is home to
caged ghouls and clowns, and Slaughterhouse where a giant table saw is
employed to dismember bodies, and a chainsaw packing maniac picks up where
it leaves off! The forrest is inhabited by various monsters including
an albino gorilla, and a giant spider that descends from webs he's spun
encompassing the trail. Following the arachnid attack is an unbelievable
encounter with THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN, followed by a fork in the road leading
into a cornfield. Beware of innocent scarecrows and demonic children
of the corn! Other sights along the trail include a spinning vortex,
a cemetery where undead souls leave their graves, and school buses inhabited
by Freddie Kuregger, and perhaps another familiar face! Don't miss
the blowtorch wielding madman, the lunatic shooting off sparks close to
his next victim, or the diabolical fiend perched high atop the bales of
hay, carelessly waving his pitchfork around, and ready to use it!
All these, an infinite number of chainsaws, and a crazed patient in an
insane asylum all must be conquered in order to survive The Middletown
Haunted Trail.
Analysis:
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| 8½ |  DR.
PSYCHO'S HAUNTED ESTATE: The estate is magnificent!
As my friend The Cool Ghoul would've said, "It will blow your mind!!!"
For the second consecutive year, everyone in our group agreed that this
is the best Haunt at The Land of Illusion! Beginning with
a walk through a cemetery, a ghoul suddenly pops out of a hearse, somewhat
obscured by the foggy surroundings! Bodies escape their graves, while
a chained casket shakes and vibrates vigorously on it's own! Animated
corpses spring to life, and the rope suspended body of a recently hanged
man thrashes about in the trees. Loads of surprises already, and
we've yet to enter the Haunted Estate! On the inside, meticulously
decorated rooms are just jammed with more surprises and scares, including
a perfectly timed one we're not giving away! Rooms include a dining
room, laboratory, and bedroom complete with a moving bed and a skeleton
levitating from a wheelchair! That might not be all, so keep a watchful
eye! There's a light vortex, stairs to climb, a cellar door, where
some poor soul has been locked away, and a variety of monsters who call
Dr.
Psycho their friend!
Analysis:
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| 7½ |  TEMPLE
OF TERROR: A mysterious door, covered with ancient
Egyptian drawings slides open inviting you to step inside the Temple
of Terror, where a couple of surprises lurk in the darkness!
Various monsters call the temple home, including a creature whizzing by
overhead, and a huge impaler clutching a victim in one hand, and a spear
in his other! A vortex, wooden sway bridge, mummified bodies, the
skeletal remains of a victim thrashing violently on a bed of nails, a wicked
creature popping up through a trap door, and several more animatronics
are encountered inside the tomb. Skeletons, chained behind their
bars come to life attempting to escape, and deadly snakes protect the temple,
spraying their venom as passersby attempt to maneuver their way through
the sepulchre. Another unexpected surprise lies near the exit, and
must be survived in order to escape the Temple of Terror.
Analysis:
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| 6½ |  KILLER
KLOWNS: The name says it all. If a fear of clowns
is among your phobias, this isn't a very safe place. Sights include
disorienting strobes, a spinning vortex, a "killer klown" rising up out
of a trap door in the floor, and a chain link fence maze containing deceptive
dead ends, where it's not unusual to find lost souls wondering about aimlessly,
often retracing some of their same footsteps seeking the way out. If that's
not confusing enough, chainsaw wielding clowns create even more distractions,
harassing those unable to escape the labyrinth. Beyond the maze lies
a "play room" filled with plastic balls where walking is difficult if not
downright impossible, and that's followed by a SURPRISE, and a shrinking
hallway which leads to the exit.
Analysis:
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| 8 | OVERALL LAND OF ILLUSION EXPERIENCE:
The LAND OF ILLUSION is a great night of entertainment! $30
gets you all four haunts - only $7.50 each!!! There's a bonfire to
keep you warm while you wait, snacks, refreshments, and a gift shop.
In addition to the 4 venue haunt, they've created a really "cool" atmosphere
for people to come and have fun, or just hang out with friends! Many
of the profits from past years have been returned to the haunt, and it
shows! The
Trail and Haunted Estate are a notch or
two above the others (especially
Killer Klowns), which compromises
the overall rating, but this is the "in" place to be. Join the crowd at
Middletown's
Land of Illusion! HINT: Ohio Valley Haunts suggests hitting
the trail first as the line forms early and gets longer as the night goes
on.
Overall Final Score: 8 reviewed 9/16/06 |
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8 |  THE
ASYLUM: A bizarre, hunchback doctor rants and raves,
and wickedly laughs as you wait to enter. Blinding strobes and deafening
warning sirens set the stage for the journey into The Asylum.
This maze of chain-link fence and mirrors is home to wacked-out patients,
and even more insane doctors who block your path, and guide you in the
wrong direction, as that disorienting alarm wails away. A deranged
nurse offers an injection of blood from an enormous syringe, and the heads
of recent victims hang from the ceilings as you attempt to find your way
out. Don't miss the martyr whose upper torso has had it's flesh ripped
away, exposing his spine, yet his head is still alive and crying for help!
Analysis:
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| 7½ |  MASSACRE
MANOR: Set in Coney Maul this year, this traditionally
gothic haunted house is up for sale courtesy of See No Evil Estates.
Ms. Liar (pronounced Leer), their representative awaits in the first room,
warning that the house is possessed by its current owner, Emily and her
demented family. Room by room, various relatives are encountered,
each equipped with his own brand of terror. A narrow, clothes filled corridor
boasts skeletons that close in on you from both sides as you make your
way through the kitchen, bedroom, etc. Residents appear from drop
down panels in the walls, behind pictures, and out of closets. Victims
are torn in two by a table saw, and put to death in an electric chair as
you finally encounter the heathen witch responsible for all the killings
- Emily, who offers up a surprise of her own as you attempt to escape the
wrath that curses Massacre Manor.
Analysis:
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| 7½ |  CIRCUS
OF HORRORS: This 3-D experience begins with a brief meeting
with a fanatical laughing clown, Psychedelic Sally. She detains you
momentarily, then sends you into the house of mirrors, where one becomes
easily disoriented, and lost. Special glasses bring the 3-D effect
to life, instilling a perception of depth (and death) to innate objects.
Clowns spring up out of building blocks, and appear from secret drop-down
panels in the walls. A polka dot room offers up a startling surprise,
and a corridor of inanimate clowns closes in on you from both sides!
This leads to a spinning vortex, and a room with multiple dressing room
doors, identified as Madam Olga, The Bearded Lady, The Puppet Master, Freddie
C (K?), Jason, and Frankenstein. Some offer surprises. One
just might allow you to escape the evil Big Top, also known as The Circus
of Horrors.
Analysis:
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